Saturday, February 28, 2009

Classicos De Sabado Kazekage #6--Infinite Monkeys With Infinite Typewriters Created This Book

OK, confession time--I really thought Infinite Crisis was a real load of shit. You're shocked by this, I know.

The nadir of the whole awful grinding monument to the Permanent Crossover was Infinite Crisis Secret Files, a distaff dumping ground for plot points couched in the story of Alex Luthor and Superboy Prime wherein any credibility that the villains of the Biggest Crossover of 2005 was hopelessly and irrevocably dashed thanks to an overwrought and deeply silly story that portrayed said villains as whiny little babies.

This was seen at the time by some wags in the critical community as meta-commentary on demanding comic fans who wanted "a return to the way things used to be," or as we say now (with the benefit of hindsight) "Geoff Johns."

The nadir of this story can be seen in the following four pages, which for some reason, seem like the weirdest slashfic ever to me. To protect the sanity of the 3 readers I have, I have re-dialogued the story. Superboy-Prime's dialogue is now the dialogue from an old re-lettered Transformers comic that became something of a meme among Transformers fans. Alexander Luthor's dialogue is from an old promo by hardcore wrestling legend Cactus Jack.

Funnily enough, it makes about as much sense this way as it did originally. It's also funnier, but as I find this comic funny and have found no one else who agrees, my sense of humour is a wild, unpredicatble thing.

I was would tell you to "enjoy" it, but in this case, that would be wrong.

There is no way this ends well

Luthors wanng=NEBULA. I have heard stories of this.

Jumbo Tsuruta is well worth Reading More About!

wHy My ShOuLdErS hUrT?


C. Elam said...

Since I think all crossovers are pretty dire just as a general rule, I fully approve of this product or service. Considering it plays off one of the best wrestling promos ever, that only adds to the fun.

An unintentional side effect is this makes me imagine Tommy Dreamer as Superboy of Earth Prime.

Kazekage said...

Superboy Prime as Tommy Dreamer is one of those things that makes more sense the more you think about it.

Which you probably shouldn't, but . . .