Friday, July 13, 2012

Just Sayin'--Wrath Of Con

I have to say, I found Abhay Koshla's run-down of ComicCon far more hilarious than anything that has happened or will happened at this year's Comicon:

"SATURDAY — 2 pm to 5 pm– PRESS CONFERENCE: Excitedly declare to bored, cow-eyed onlookers that the fact that people with bad taste have enough money to purchase art of questionable merit produced by dull people with limited ambition for the benefit of sinister corporations means that the “nerds have won.” When asked what has been won, pause, stare off into the distance, until finally whispering “t-he pennant… yeah… the pennant… wildcat… Wild….cat….. I’m going to go.” Reasonably assume that nerds having won means that someone else will be responsible for my laundry. End up wearing dirty clothes.

SATURDAY — 5 pm to 6 pm — PANEL: HOUSE OF IDEAS: Invite area youths to ask me questions, but answer every question with hostility, sarcasm, and condescension, suggesting an out of control ego wildly inconsistent with any of my actual accomplishments.

SATURDAY — 6 pm to 7 pm — UTA/ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY/TWILIGHT/TAMPAX PARTY: Stand outside party thrown for the benefit of beautiful, rich people. Whisper, “But I thought the nerds had won. W-what about Obama?” into tree trunk.

SATURDAY — 7pm to 12 pm– EISNER AWARDS: Named for famed third-grade classmate Doug “D-Dog” Eisner, the Eisner awards are the most prestigious award in my apartment. Win in every category. Deliver moving, yet boldly subversive acceptance speech to empty apartment. Halfway through speech, slowly realize that the only winner is the only person nominated. Award ceremony still lasts five hours out of obligation to remember elderly cartoonists who have died in auto-erotic accidents within the last six weeks. End In Memorium section by screaming, “We’ll miss you most of all, guy who inked two issues of SCAMP AND THE MUFFIN back in 1932, you crotchety old pervert.” Scream that loud enough that God finally stops ignoring my screams. Finally. Finally."

 Read the whole thing here, and be sure to stay for Tucker Stone's hilarious evisceration of this week's comics. Is the Stone/Khosla team my favourite way to spend Friday? It sure is, other Kazekage, it sure is.


No comments: